To Bump or not to Bump
by illustriousopaline
Summary: Kevin's father invited the Seigaku's Regulars to test out something he had installed.
1. An invitation to

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing  
**Warnings:** slight OCC-ness I guess. Some teeny-weeny bits of couple hints if you look closely.  
**A/N:** _italics_ means thoughts or emphasis on that particular word. Eh, I separated it into 2 chapters for easier reading.

* * *

Momoshiro adjusted his peach-colored tie nervously as he approached the elegant doors of the most expensive restaurant in the country (one which he would not even dare to dream of eating there, why, _just_ the service charge alone would probably cost a week of his allowance!) 

The only reason why he was there was because of Atobe Keigo. Somehow, the great Atobe had decided to invite every junior high's regulars to dine at this fancy restaurant.

_Still… he needn't put on such airs._

"Be awed by the name of the restaurant, for the great ore-sama would only choose the best. Now ore-sama has decided to let you peasants have a taste of what ore-sama call REAL food, and not the filth you eat. So bow down to me. Now."

Momoshiro would have beaten the daylights out of Atobe if he was not busy gaping at the gold-lined invitation card. So now, he had finally stepped into this famous restaurant, not wasting any more time staring at the decorations, he headed straight for the buffet table. Rows and rows of delicious food seemed to be screaming at him "Eat me, eat me!"

Momoshiro was in heaven. He quickly piled his plate with those cute little cream cakes and two slices of the renowned lemon crème pie. He was just about to take a bite out of the pie when the restaurant's fire alarm started shrieking.

"Thump!"

"Itai…" Momoshiro rubbed his head and reached for his ringing cell phone.

"Moshi moshi…" He wiped off his drool with the back of his hand as he cursed inwardly at the caller for disrupting his dream.

"…Momo-sempai."

"_ECHIZEN? _You only know how to spoil my fun don't you?"

"….huh?"

"You woke me up from the best dream ever!"

"…Momo-sempai… hentai."

"Nani? I was dreaming of food. That father of yours is a bad influence!"

"…. Ahem, anyway… Kevin is inviting us…"

* * *

"O'Chibi? Yeah, Oishi! Our kawaii O'chibi-chan is calling me nyah!" 

Ryoma moved the phone a few centimeters away from his ear and waited for Eiji to calm down from the 'excitement' of receiving a call from their adorable but antisocial kouhai.

"Hoi hoi, O'chibi-chan! Did you miss me?" Eiji asked in a sing-song voice

He was beginning to regret calling Eiji, scratched that, he was regretting the fact that he accepted Kevin's invitation in the first place.

"…Kikumaru-sempai. Kevin invited us…" Ryoma said in that monotone way of his, effectively brushing aside his sempai's awkward question.

He heaved a big sigh of relief as he put down the phone. Smirking slightly, he wondered how Oishi-sempai was going to calm his adorable Eiji down.

_Two down, six more to go_…Ryoma reached out wearily for his phone book.

* * *

"Moshi Moshi." 

"Kaidoh-sempai please."

"….speaking. Who are you?"

"Echizen."

"Ah, yes?"

"Are you sure you are Kaidoh-sempai?"

"Yes."

"…are you absolutely sure?"

"…yes. What do you want, Echizen."

"Are you really sure?"

"YES! I AM KAORU KAIDOH! GET ON WITH IT!"

"Oh, gomen, was just double checking."

"…why?"

"Well… you didn't…" Ryoma was about to continue his observation when he was interrupted with an impatient hiss (Kaidoh: _Fushuu_!)… "hiss… never mind. Anyway, Kelvin invited us over…"

_That brat_, Kaidoh thought as he replaced the phone, _annoying me like that…Saying I didn't hiss… Kaoru Kaidoh does not hiss! (Fushuu) . Do I?_

"Heh, that was unexpectedly fun." Ryoma mused out loud as he started dialing the next Regular.

* * *

"(machine twirling) (Beep) You have reached Fuji Residence. No one is currently available to answer your call. You can, however, leave a message. If you are that purple hippopotamus who always harassed my cute little brother, I would advise you to end the call. Now." 

"…. Fuji-sempai. This is Echizen calling. Cut out the act. Now."

"Saa… how did you know it wasn't a real message?"

"I just know. Anyway, Kevin invited us to his…"

"Oh, can I bring my brother?"

"I don't know, Fuji-sempai."

"Why not? Yuuta is cute."

"It doesn't matter to me whether he is or not, sempai."

"Saa, _really_?"

"Erm, really. Anyway, it is rude to bring 10 when the host says 9 people."

"Ahh, fine then. I'll just make nee-chan baby-sit Yuuta-chan."

"…whatever."

Ryoma thanked Kami-sama silently that he did not have a brother like Fuji.

* * *

"Ano…Arigatou…for informing me, Echizen-kun. I'll try to make it…" 

"Tell your father it's training."

"…(Gasp) demo, that will be lying! … but it does seem like a good idea…"

"Oi! Either ask the caller to order his sushi or hang up the phone. We are very busy right now!"

"Ahh, Echizen-kun, my father is calling for me. I'll let you know by tonight."

"Fine with me."

* * *

"Ah, Echizen. We are going on an outing?" 

"…How did you know?"

"I tapped your phone."

"…"

"…"

"(Whoosh, whoosh), click click click, tap tap tap."

"It's a joke. No need to swing and prod your phone like that."

"So how did you know?"

"Kaidoh called."

"Ahh, okay. (Click)"

Inui looked at the phone, amused. _Echizen is quite gullible, _and he went to record down his latest observation.

* * *

"May I speak to Buchou please." 

"Who?"

"Ah.. Tezuka-buchou."

"Oh… Mitsu-chan! There's a call for you darling!"

"Mitsu-chan?" Ryoma repeated with a snicker.

"Hnh."

"Ahh! Buchou, this is Echizen."

"Hnh."

"…Kevin invited the Regulars to his father's new Bumper Car Park."

"…."

"And I accepted the invitation."

"Hnh."

"So are you going?"

"Hnh."

"All right, see you then."

"That was what I call a one-sided conversation." Ryoma muttered as he replaced his phone. Picking up his racket, he went out to challenge his baka oyaji to a match._I'll make sure he loses so much that he cries. Heh. _

* * *

(A/N: heh, I seem to like to write this kinda phone calls...) 


	2. Bumper Day

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing  
**Warnings:** slight OCC-ness I guess. Some teeny-weeny bits of couple hints if you look closely.  
**A/N:** _italics_ means thoughts or emphasis on that particular word. Yosh, let's go have a round of bumper cars then...

* * *

"Wah, this thing is as large as two tennis courts nyah!" exclaimed the red-head as he semi-bounced all over.

"Tch... Kikumaru-sempai. You state the obvious." Ryoma's eyes were seriously getting tired as he followed the energetic player around. _Wonder if Oishi-sempai put a lease on Kikumaru-sempai when they go out._

"Say, Echizen! Look at all these cars! What is that green bar beside the steering wheel?"

"That's the 'life-span', Momo-sempai." The youngest of the group stated in a bored way, ignoring the little golden pair scene behind him – Eiji wailing about how O'chibi was being mean to him and how Oishi was patting the agitated youth's back, trying to calm him down.

"Saa… could you not explain more about this 'life-span'?"

"…Since bumper cars is all about bumping each other right? But what fun can it be to just bump meaningless against each other? So Kevin's father installed this extra feature to add to the fun. Your car can only take so much damage before it died on you."

"Ano… so we can only bump each other that much?"

"Yes, Kawamura-sempai."

"But it wouldn't be fun if there's a limit, wouldn't be fun at all!"

"That's why we are here to try it out, Momo-sempai. …And…"

"Yosh! Let's get started. I want to show everyone my Momoshiro-Super-Slam-the-Driver-Dead driving skills!"

"Fusuhhh, you mean slamming yourself dead?"

"Are you trying to pick a fight Mamushi!"

"Let's go and choose our cars already, Kaidoh. I think that dark green one over there suits you. I will take the pale green one."

"H-hai, Inui-sempai."

Both of them went to 'claim' the green cars, leaving Momoshiro fuming. Narrowing his violet eyes at the back of his rival, he stalked off to the other direction and chose a peach-colored car.

"Ne Tezuka, which color do you like?" Fuji asked Tezuka cheerfully as he pointed to a pink colored and a light blue colored bumper cars. Tezuka glanced at the two cars and walked over to a navy-colored one.

"It doesn't matter because I'm not choosing either of them."

"Saa… I was just wondering which color you liked. They said pink is sweet and light blue's peaceful. Hmmm… I think I take this then." Fuji hopped into the pink-colored car with a smile, "…hmmm? I think this pale pink suits me."

Tezuka hid a twitch of his eyebrow and turned his back to Fuji, ignoring Fuji's exclamations of how sweet and adorable he must have looked in that pink car. _At least there's some truth in that.

* * *

_

"All right everyone, don't let your guards down and have fun." Tezuka stated when everyone had gotten into their chosen cars.

"Echizen? Are you nervous? You are sitting very near the steering-wheel! Relax and sit back a little."

"…it's okay, Oishi-sempai." Ryoma frowned a little and tighten his hold on the wheel.

"Nyah? O'Chibi must be too short to reach the brakes if he sits back! Hehehe!" Eiji went off into a peal of laughter causing most of the team to smile at the blushing Ryoma. If looks could kill, Eiji would certainly be dead then.

"Ano, how do we start?"

"According to my data, we need an operator to press a certain button on the switch board to start the whole game. So we need someone to go and press the button to start the game. However, he would either need to sit out of the game…" Everyone looked a little unwilling, "Or he can try getting back into his car. He would then face a 75 percent risk of getting bumped by the cars before he could get into his car."

"That's crazy! No one would want to get knocked down, Inui-sempai! At least, no one I know of."

"Che," everyone turned to look at Ryoma who was taking a tennis ball out of his pocket. With half a smirk, he threw it at the direction of the switch board. Almost a foot away, the ball suddenly arched down.

"You suck, Echizen!"

And bounced up on the board and hit the start button, while the regulars watched wide-eyed. Music blared and spotlights started to shine. The game had started.

Everyone went crazy.

"Die! Die! Die! Taste my Momoshiro-Super-Slam-….!" Momoshiro shouted as he zoomed around in high speed, forgetting about the awkward moment a few seconds before.

"Ii data… it's just like his slam dunk" Inui tried to scribble down notes as he cruised along the sides. It was a big mistake. One should concentrate on driving and not scribbling down notes. As a result, the data-man kept hitting the sides and his green bar slowly, but steadily started to decrease.

"Ah, gomen! I didn't mean to bump you!" Kawamura apologized for the umpteen times. Pitying the upset sempai, Echizen drove to one of the sides when he had hidden a racket and threw it to Kawamara.

"…thanks…HORA HORA! BURNING BUMPER!"

A chorus of "ECHIZEN, WHY DID YOU DO THAT?" met the raven-haired youth. He shrugged and quickly changed his direction when Momoshiro came charging at him like a bullet. To his dismay, he was surrounded by the rest of the team. Echizen could not help but gulped a little as he sensed the dark aura emitting from his sempais.

"HORA! ECHIZEN, I'm gonna save you! Com'on Baby!" Kawamura shouted as he came rocketing, bumping everyone out of the way, causing a great deal of damage to everyone's green life span (except for Ryoma's.)

"Nyah! Taka-san took half of my life off! It's all O'Chibi's fault! Oishi! Let's show him the Golden Pair Bumper Car Power!"

Oishi, who was worrying himself sick over how recklessly the regulars were driving and how Taka-san was terrorizing the Regulars in his Burning mode, sweat-dropped. _Since when we have such a move?_ Nevertheless, he followed Eiji's car, taking care not to bump into his partner. It turned out to be very difficult, since the red head was energetically swerving left and right.

"Eiji! Look out for Momo from the left and Echizen from the right!"

"Nyah?"

Oishi's eyes widened in horror as Eiji turned to see what the big deal was. "Just turn your head, don't turn the car too!" as Momoshiro came bumping head-on to Eiji while Ryoma turned sharply to the left, then to the right, narrowly missing Oishi (who tried to avoid collision with Eiji, collide with Momoshiro instead.) and away to the left.

"Sempai-tachi, mada mada dane," said the troublemaker as he sped away in his silver car.

"Oi Echizen, don't show off your Drive B here!" The three Regulars quickly separated as Taka-san was coming in their direction.

"HORA HORA! Stay where you are! How dare you try to bump Echizen!"

"Ii data, Echizen got his shining white knight to protect him. Looks like we have to take out Taka-san before we can touch Echizen." Inui's glasses gleamed disturbingly as he observed the freshman gleefully shouting his trademark phrase to his pursuers from afar.

* * *

"Stop following me." Tezuka commanded as he spotted the pink car out of the corner of his eyes.

"Saa… this is bumper cars, isn't it? We are supposed to _bump_ each other, ne Tezuka?" Fuji replied in a smooth voice, and then in a lower huskier tone, "I want to _bump_ you from behind, Mitsu-chan." Fuji snickered as Tezuka's ears turned red and continued following the bespectacled youth.

Tezuka, getting irritated, tried to shake the tensai off by driving right to the cluster of cars near the center. _Big mistake_. The other regulars spotted their buchou and joined in the chase.

"Heh, we are trapped in Tezuka Zone, aren't we?" Fuji grinned.

"There is no escape, Tezuka. Surrender to my data."

"Golden Pair Power!" Eiji crowed as he managed to inch near to the navy car with Oishi following behind.

"Be careful, Eiji! Your green bar only has an inch left or so!"

Suddenly, Tezuka knew how to get rid of the stalkers. _If you can't get rid of them, meet them heads-on._ With that motto in mind, the buchou suddenly braked, causing the red-head to bump into him and those following behind to bump into Eiji.

"Nyah! I'm dead!" The red-head wailed as his green bar had decreased to zero and his red car refuse to budge a single inch.

"Where's Buchou and Fuji-sempai?"

"Over there nyah! Fuji is still chasing Buchou!"

"Should we still chase after Tezuka?"

"Let's leave the two lovebirds alone, Oishi."

"Inui, 20 laps around the court later!"

"Guess he heard that…even over this music. That is illogical." Inui wandered away flipping through his notebook.

"Fusuuh…Sempai? You should focus on your driving!"

"It's all right, Kaidoh. My green bar still has…" Inui glanced at his 'life-span' and braked in shock, "Barely an inch left…."

Kaidoh, unable to stop in time when his sempai stopped so suddenly, bumped lightly against Inui, causing the inch of green life to disappear.

_Two down, six more to go.

* * *

_

"Oi Mamushi! This is not the place to practice your snake! Stop sliding along the sides and staring into the space, baka Mamushi!"

Hissing furiously, Kaidoh whipped his head around and sent Momoshiro his most lethal glare, which had caused the freshmen trio to pee in their pants, but Momoshiro had grown immune to it, simply grinned widely and shouted, "I see Baka Mamushi! H-I-S-S-I-N-G! With that lovesick EXPRESSION! H-I-S-S-I-N-G! just to attract ATTENTION!"

Without a doubt, Kaidoh rose to the bait and charged at Momoshiro, who was still busy chanting away. Unable to think straight, Momoshiro stepped on the pedal panicky.

It was the final showdown between the two bitter rivals.

Meanwhile, Oishi was depressed because his adorable Eiji was dead, decided to commit suicide. (A/N: Just kidding) Oishi's motherly instinct sensed trouble brewing between the two juniors, whizzed over, hoping to resolve any trouble before it got out of hand.

"_BUMP_!"

"Damn!" Momoshiro stared at his empty green bar dejectedly. "It's your entire fault, Oishi-sempai!"

"Ahh..gomen…" Oishi shook his head violently, trying to shake away the images of some flying tennis balls that were circling above his head.

"If you haven't interfered, I could at least bring Kaidoh down with me!" Momoshiro exclaimed dramatically.

"Uyah! Maybe not, Momo! Kaidoh would just perform what he did just now, and you, unable to brake, would then hit the sides and die too!" Eiji shouted, coming to Oishi's defense.

"What did he do?"

"He performed his Snake, Momo-sempai. To bring Kaidoh-sempai down with your current skill, you are still mada mada…"

As Momoshiro shook his fist at his kouhai, yelling at him to shut up, Kawamura appeared out of nowhere by Ryoma's side and roared, "HORA! HOW DARE YOU THREATEN ECHIZEN! TAKE THIS!" The blood drained from his face as Momoshiro stared dumbly at the 'burning' Taka-san charging towards him.

_Five down, three more to go_.

"Say, Kaidoh-sempai. Let's have a challenge… unless you are _scared_…"

* * *

Tezuka frowned as he noticed two more cars joined in the chase. He was seriously getting sick of this bumper car outing. _I shall make everyone run laps, not forgetting extra laps for Fuji for stalking me the entire time, Echizen for accepting the invitation ……, Kevin for inviting us and his father for coming up with this life-span idea. _As unhappy as he was with this bumper car outing, he was unwilling to lose. After all, he was the buchou, what would the rest think if the pillar of Seigaku lost at a children's game like this! _…Wh-hat! CURSES!_

A tad too absorbed in his thoughts, he failed to notice Kaidoh's car curving gracefully, intercepting him from the left. In order to 'preserve' what was left of his green bar, Tezuka swerved his car to the right, only to bump repeatedly into the sides and the 'lifespan' to vanish into thin air.

Tezuka's broad shoulders slumped a little; his knuckles white from clutching the steering wheels loosen and fell to his lap. The pillar of Seigaku had crumbled.

Kaidoh could not help but let out a little hiss of victory; after all, he had won their little challenge. Yet, there was this uneasy feeling that did not settle well with him. "Mada mada dane, Kaidoh-sempai. You better run for it now." Ryoma said as he drove past the confused lad. Kaidoh gulped a little as he looked over his shoulder… into the sapphire eyes that were burning coldly – eyes that promised him sweet torture for 'killing' Tezuka buchou. Kaidoh squeezed his eyes shut as the cold blue eyes drew nearer…

_Eight down, none to go. I win.

* * *

_

Ryoma pocketed the hundred dollar voucher cheerfully, ignoring the protests of the Regulars. _Now, what to buy with it…?_

"Not fair nyah, O'Chibi! You didn't tell us there was a prize for being the last man standing!"

"Yup! You should treat us to hamburgers! Yosh, let's go to the burger place!"

"…I did. But Momo-sempai cut me off. …"

Momoshiro was about to chew Ryoma's ears off when Tezuka stated, "He was about to say something back then." The Regulars glanced doubtfully from Tezuka to Ryoma, and tried to recall.

(Flashback)

"But it wouldn't be fun if there's a limit, wouldn't be fun at all!"

"That's why we are here to try it out, Momo-sempai. …**And**…"

"Yosh! Let's get started. I want to show everyone my Momoshiro-Super-Slam-the-Driver-Dead driving skills!"

(End of Flashback)

Everyone (except Momoshiro) winced a little at the recollection of the lame name.

"Ah! It would help if Echizen doesn't stop for a few seconds before speaking!" Momoshiro tried to defend himself.

"Ahem, according to my data so far, Echizen does have a habit of pausing a few seconds before speaking."

"Hmmm…for some dramatic flair maybe?"

"… I'm not like that Monkey King, Fuji-sempai."

"Nyah! Let's go have burgers, O'Chibi! Please!" Eiji pouted, feeling neglected.

Knowing his persistent sempais, Ryoma sighed and gave in. "Only fifty bucks then."

"Ah, that's good of you Echizen, to save up the rest of the money." Oishi smiled like how a proud mother would over her sensible son.

"…? I'm going to buy grape Ponta with the rest of the money…"

"……"

"…nani?" Ryoma looked at his sempais who were gaping at him. "Did I say something wrong? ... Eh, how was the lifespan idea?"

The raven-haired boy looked taken aback as a chorus of "MADA MADA DANE!" met him. He shrugged, refusing to rise to the bait and walked off, already envisioning dozens and dozens cans of grape Ponta waiting for him.

-owari-


End file.
